Breaking down “Adolescence,” Netflix’s raw take on growing up.
Source: Nsey Benajah/Unsplash
As a psychotherapist, I often find myself reflecting on the ways the media portrays mental health, adolescence, and the complexities of family dynamics. The new Netflix series Adolescence offers a compelling and unnerving look into the mind of a 13-year-old boy named Jamie, who is accused of committing a brutal crime: the murder of a female classmate. What makes this series so impactful is the tension it builds around one question: Could this sweet, seemingly innocent tween have committed such an atrocity?
Even after we witness the chilling police video of Jamie stabbing his classmate, the question lingers. The video doesn’t show Jamie’s face, and we are left hoping he didn’t do it. But as the story unravels, we come face-to-face with profound, unsettling truths about modern adolescence—truths that may make us rethink how we understand and respond to young people as parents, caregivers, and therapists.
The Impact of Technology: A Double-Edged Sword
One of the most powerful themes in Adolescence is the impact of technology on today’s youth. Parents of this generation are caught between wanting to provide their children with the best of everything—new phones, gaming systems, and access to endless information—and the reality that these devices can isolate and harm their children. Jamie spends hours, often days, behind closed doors, engaged with technology—whether through his phone, computer, or gaming consoles. He’s disconnected from peers, lacking sleep, exercise, and healthy social interactions.
As parents, we know this pattern all too well, yet we often feel powerless to intervene. We understand the risks: poor sleep, changes in appetite and mood, and lack of socialization—all indicators of a struggling adolescent. But there’s a disconnect. Parents might be aware that their children are hooked on their devices, yet the idea of pulling the plug feels daunting. The question is: Are we as a society truly prepared to address the role that technology plays in shaping our children’s mental health?
The veil between the virtual world and reality can become so thin that young minds like Jamie’s might not register the gravity of their actions. Video games, violent content, and exposure to harmful material may distort a child’s sense of reality, making violent behavior seem not just possible but almost normalized. The lines blur, and for Jamie, committing a violent act might not feel as wrong as it should.
The Role of Generational Trauma
Another deeply compelling aspect of Adolescence is its exploration of generational trauma. While Jamie’s father does not physically abuse him, as his father abused him, the series raises important questions about how unresolved trauma passes from one generation to the next. How did Jamie’s father express anger? How did he show love? How did he discipline Jamie, and how did he support him during his most vulnerable moments? These questions reveal some of the deeper emotional currents that affect Jamie’s development—and, in turn, his actions.
article continues after advertisement
The show illuminates how the way a father—a male role model—handles emotions can profoundly impact a young boy’s psychological development. Despite his best intentions, Jamie’s father struggles to connect with his son, leaving him to navigate his inner turmoil mainly alone.
The Mother’s Role
The role of Jamie’s mother in the series is equally significant. Her character often seems pushed to the periphery, highlighting the vital role of fathers and male figures in shaping boys’ lives. The mother’s approach is rooted in the desire to make life comfortable and easy for her son. She wants to shield him from hardship, believing that providing material comfort and an easy life will make him happy and, by extension, a good person.
However, this approach, though well-intentioned, misses the mark. In one poignant moment, Jamie calls his father to change his plea, and his mother, choking back tears, asks him about his well-being in prison as if he were attending a private school. Her concern for his comfort overrides the more profound, urgent need to understand what is happening in her son’s mind.
This reflects a broader societal issue: Many parents, despite their best efforts, miss the signs of emotional distress in their children. There’s a tendency to over-shelter or indulge, which fails to acknowledge the complexities of growing up today.
The Urgent Need for Engagement
The overarching message of Adolescence is clear: Parents must get more involved in their children’s lives, especially their online lives. It’s no longer enough to provide material comforts or assume that children will be fine if they have the latest gadgets. Boundaries must be set, consequences must be enforced, and perhaps most importantly, parents must be willing to tolerate the discomfort that may come with their children not always being happy.
This doesn’t mean punishing or condemning kids’ online behavior but engaging with them—having open, nonjudgmental conversations about what they’re experiencing. What are they watching online? What games are they playing? What’s going on in their virtual worlds? By engaging in meaningful conversations with kids, we can begin to break down the walls that technology often creates and foster deeper emotional connections.
A Call for Dialogue and Awareness
Adolescence is a hard show to watch, but it’s essential. It’s a wake-up call for parents, educators, and mental health professionals. We must confront the reality that today’s youth are facing unprecedented challenges—challenges that we, as a society, have only begun to understand. Watching this show is not just about observing a tragedy unfold; it’s about starting the conversation we all need to have.
Watch this show. Watch it with the young people in your life. Ask questions. Listen without judgment. Most importantly, engage with them on a deeper level. There’s no quick fix, but through meaningful dialogue and a commitment to understanding, we can start to make a difference in their lives before it’s too late.
