Every day – yes, every day – at least one parent shares yet another story with me of how a middle school student took a nude picture of themselves and shared it with a few of their “closest” friends.
Recently, after a program that I participated in about teens’ addiction to technology, a principal attending the event from another school district commented that she was so tired of looking at pictures of boys’ penises and girls’ private parts. She urged me to keep instructing the parents to tell their kids to STOP taking nude pictures.
Ten years ago, no one could have imagined a world where educators would have to spend their time scrolling through students’ photos on their phones, looking for pictures of nude friends. And in case you don’t know this, it is illegal for a child/teen to send a nude photo – even if it is of themselves and especially when sent to another person. This is called the distribution of child pornography. Depending on where you live and what you did, it can leave the distributor with an arrest and a record as a sex offender.
All this overexposure is causing tremendous damage to the child’s developing identity and sense of self, not to mention their sexuality. The kids may act like they don’t care, it’s no big deal, everyone is doing it, but don’t let them fool you. I see the girls after their boobies have been seen by most of the 8th-grade class in their middle school. I listen to their fears as they fight to hold back their tears. I hear the girls awkwardly state that they received pictures of 13-year-old boys’ penises. Not to be rude, but what 13-year-old girl wants to see this part of a boy’s body.
Girls and boys are dealing with feeling enormous amounts of humiliation and confusion with all these pictures and sex talk. There is an epidemic of shame that is being hidden by things like addictions to nicotine, weed, alcohol, eating disorders, depression, anxiety and/or apathy. We don’t know the long term ramifications of this behavior but from where I sit every day, it doesn’t look so promising for our kids to have normal, productive sexual lives. Not to mention the spread of STDs, AIDS, and teen pregnancy, which are all still taboo to talk about – yet nude pictures are collected by middle school and high school kids the way we used to collect baseball cards and Pokeman cards.
Parents, you need to set limits, monitor and talk to your kids about this oh-so-common phenomenon. Technology has changed the world your kid is growing up in. One of the biggest changes is how much they are learning, seeing and doing in the sexual arena. You can’t protect them from everything, but you need to start doing your part.
